The first two weeks: what actually has to be done

Someone has died and there is a great deal to do. Most of it is not urgent, and knowing which parts are makes the first fortnight considerably more survivable.

Specific procedures differ by country. What follows is the general shape.

The genuinely immediate

Medical certification of death. A doctor or appropriate authority must certify the death before anything else can proceed. If the death was expected and at home, this generally means calling the GP or the community nursing team. If it was unexpected, emergency services.

Where a death is unexpected, sudden, or in certain circumstances, it may be referred to a coroner, medical examiner or equivalent, which introduces delay. This is routine and not an accusation.

Registration of the death, which most countries require within a defined period, typically a few days to a couple of weeks.

Get several certified copies of the death certificate. You will need originals for banks, insurers, pension providers and registries, and requesting more later is slower and sometimes costs more. Ten is not excessive for a complicated estate.

Contacting a funeral provider, if you are using one. This can wait a day. There is no obligation to decide immediately, and the body will be cared for.

Organ or tissue donation, where relevant, which is time-critical and generally raised by the clinical team.

Any specific religious requirements regarding timing, which for some traditions are urgent.

Within the first week or two

Locating the will and identifying the executor.

Securing property. If the person lived alone, the house needs securing and any pets need caring for. Notify insurers, since unoccupied property may affect cover.

Notifying the essential organisations. Employer, pension providers, government departments handling benefits and taxes, and banks.

Many countries operate a single notification service that informs multiple government departments at once. Ask at registration whether one exists — it saves a great deal of repetition.

Stopping payments that will otherwise continue. Direct debits, subscriptions, standing orders. Some will keep taking money for months.

Arranging the funeral.

What can wait

Almost everything else, and it is worth saying explicitly because the volume of tasks produces a sense that all of it is urgent.

Clearing the house can wait. Distributing possessions can wait, and should — decisions made in the first weeks are frequently regretted.

Dealing with the estate takes months regardless. There is no version of this where speed helps.

Deciding what to do about the house, about your own living arrangements, about work — none of these should be decided in the first weeks. The standard advice not to make major decisions in the first year is somewhat conservative and directionally right.

The money problem in the first weeks

A practical difficulty that catches families out.

Accounts in the deceased's sole name are typically frozen on notification, and funds are not accessible until the estate is administered. Meanwhile there are funeral costs and immediate expenses.

Options that may be available: banks releasing funds directly to a funeral provider from the deceased's account, joint accounts remaining accessible to the survivor, and in some jurisdictions small estates being released without formal probate.

Ask the bank specifically what they will release and on what evidence.

What people find hardest

In my experience it is not the tasks. It is the repetition — explaining the death to organisation after organisation, being put on hold, being asked to confirm details.

Practical mitigations: keep a notebook with who you contacted, when, and what they said. Ask each organisation what they need in writing. Delegate calls to someone who is not the closest relative.

People frequently want to help and do not know how. Give them the phone calls. It is a real contribution and it is the thing bereaved people find most depleting.

The paperwork nobody warns you about

Passwords and accounts. Covered elsewhere on this site, and the first two weeks is when the absence of planning becomes apparent.

Subscriptions that renew. Loyalty schemes. Social media accounts, which continue existing and which frequently produce birthday reminders months later.

The mobile phone, which is frequently the key to a great deal and which may be locked.

Looking after yourself in the first fortnight

Eat something. Sleep when you can. Accept practical help, specifically — people asking what they can do want a task, and "nothing, thanks" helps nobody.

Expect the administrative work to feel like a relief. Many bereaved people describe throwing themselves into paperwork because it is something to do. That is a normal response and it is worth knowing that grief tends to arrive properly once the tasks are finished, which is frequently weeks later, when everyone else has gone back to normal.

Be sceptical of anything requiring a decision in the first fortnight, particularly anything involving money.

The one thing to write down

If you are reading this in advance rather than after: leave a note for whoever will do this.

Where the will is. Who your solicitor is. Which bank. What insurance exists. What you want done. Where the password manager credentials are.

One page. It saves the people you love a fortnight of searching, at the worst point of their lives, and it takes twenty minutes to write.

Procedures for certifying and registering a death differ by country. Contact the relevant registry or your local authority for the specific requirements where you live.